In Honor of Butch Appreciation Day

What Writing a Queer Romance Novel is Doing to Me

¹

I was hell-bent on writing my memoir. It consists of interlocking personal essays based on my atypical sobriety, sexuality, and discomfort as a discipline—it is my literal life's work. To say that I've been passionate about getting the book finished and published for the world to read would be an understatement. 

I queried the ideas and informal synopsis with friends, family, and those in the know and received positive feedback—the fire was lit! However, something was tugging at my heart, something that was living within the memoir but that I felt deserved an arc of its own, something dramatic, unexpected, and unique—my love story. 

Yes, that's right, my journey to true love. It's something worth sharing, but I couldn't let it take over my memoir. So I started to casually consider drawing from my personal experiences to create a fiction serial that was intriguing, romantic, and queer.

As writers, we want to bring our stories to life; the sharing is part and parcel of our healing in one way or another. For example, a massive amount of my journey involved peeling back my layers in recovery to reveal my sexuality—-I drank at my attraction to women, I abandoned myself in the wrong relationships. I buried something so deep that even I was surprised to see it staring me in the face as I sobered up.

 I decided that writing a queer romance serial was a delicious legacy for my personal story—The pages filled with the imposter syndrome I felt entering the queer community in my forties and how the perseverance in recovery paved the way to eventually finding love. Furthermore, it would exemplify the joy I continue to feel belonging to a community that reveals itself in love to me repeatedly. 

So how in the world did I make the transition from memoir to romance serial? 

I actually still plan to write the memoir, so this is just a focus shift for now. I did this by writing out my personal love story and discussing the possibilities with my partner. That is where the relationship-building benefits came into play. This part of creating has reinvigorated our nostalgia for how we unexpectedly met. It has made me appreciate our love story and the delightful realities in our everyday existence that I might otherwise have taken for granted or overlooked. Writing the romance has made me a better and more attentive partner; I celebrate my girlfriend and me every time I sit down to my laptop. 

The serial has also connected us to a story we rarely see play out in the media. Although more and more networks and outlets are providing audiences with queer storylines and character arcs, it's rare for these to feature realistic dynamics, let alone hopeful or even happy endings. In addition, much of queer entertainment features femme people predominately, and I want to see way more butch-dykes in my shows (hint, hint Hollywood).

My queer romance serial will have various queer characters who present in diverse ways in terms of upbringing, experience, and even style. Presentation is crucial to us queers, and I want to represent the many ways the community looks as accurately as I can. Non-fiction provides real-life familiarity with your subjects, so the next challenge was to figure out how to develop my serial characters in a way that could feel authentic. 

What have I employed to develop characters and plot? 

Google sheets, seriously. When this idea began to percolate, and I started throwing around the names, ages, backgrounds, traits, and experiences my characters would have, my partner suggested I keep a spreadsheet to organize the information. I HATE spreadsheets and reject instructional organization at all costs, most of the time. However, this seemed like it may work for me as the character list grew. I started with a few rows and then began to add columns filled with rich descriptors. The organization has made me a better writer because I cannot simply rely on my memory or version of events like my memoir. I must create a complete picture of the character in my story before approaching a scene or situation. For example, I need to know what kind of panties my main character might be wearing when she encounters her first sexual experience with a love interest (will she wear briefs, boxers, thongs, what will it be—who is this person?) Just last week, when writing a chapter of the novel, I needed to refer to my spreadsheet to detail what shoes were removed in the heat of passion. These things seem small, but they mean a lot to advance the story as authentically as possible. 

It also helped me round out my plot. 

As I introduce new characters into the story, I am inserting professions and life events with no personal experience. For example, one of my characters runs a herbarium, and another is a National Parks Wildland firefighter. I know squat about plants, botany, or fire management. I have done hours of research on the academic programs, geographic origins, and practical ways these characters could walk into my story—it is ongoing and critical for the exciting ways my story can unfold. I continue to add rows, columns, and paragraphs to my Google Sheet and what I lovingly call the "family tree." The 'family tree" is where I tie the character attributes together into small biographies of each character. The more familiar I am with how it all fits, the better the story will be. 

If you had told me that I would be writing a queer romance serial even a few months ago, I would have told you that you were crazy. I would have questioned your sanity further if you added how I developed the content—with data organizers. But both have placed life back into my writing and a spark back into my already lit relationship. 

I highly recommend it. 

If you are interested in reading the book on @Wattpad, leave a comment letting me know you’d like a link. -E

1. Two emails went out today, with this same title, the first had missing text due to an accidental push before publish was ready. Sorry about that!